I’m terrible soil.

 

I’ve been going through the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan over the last week or so. I've had the book for a while now but for some reason put it down and didn’t pick it back up. Well, I’ve picked it back up, and the Spirit’s been speaking through Mr. Chan.

He uses the parable of the farmer, the seeds, and the soil to make a point about our lives. Read Luke 8:1-15. It’s clear that there’s different kinds of people who claim to follow Christ. There’s those that ignore the truth and are never saved as well as those who receive the News and reproduce a crop through perseverance.

It’s the other two seeds that I want to mention. Those who believe for awhile and fall away and those who believe but are choked out by life’s worries. The challenge Francis gives us is that we can’t assume we’re good soil all the time, and I have to admit, I’m not,

I worry too much about what’s going to happen next. I let things like stuff ruin me. I’m prideful and think of myself better than others. I don’t love like I should. Yet God’s grace covers me. He loves me. He died for me… and all I can bring Him is my anger, jealousy, and hate to offer?

I’m a wretched sinner, undeserving of the penalty of my selfishness, but God’s grace is better, His mercy is better, His life is better. Let me rely on Him alone and give up myself for the gift He’s freely given.

Where's my life?

Man, it's been a while since I did anything with this site. I've been uber busy this last week, so let me recap what's happened so far. I'm now the Director of Student Ministries at Elvins Baptist Church. I'm pretty excited to see what God's going to do there, so be in prayer for me and the students. It's also closer to baby time. I'm ready to play with Garrett even though he'll just sit there and not do that much.

I've been convicted the last few weeks about how much time I really spend with God. Sure, I read my Bible everyday, but my prayer life stinks. The thing that's hit me the most is that I can preach the name of Christ to anyone and I can give an answer to any objection, but I live like a selfish american that only thinks about himself. I mean, Christ gave me life and I can't spend time telling Him my struggles, my heartaches, my desires, and my needs? It seems like a pretty one-sided relationship if you ask me.

I agree with C. S. Lewis that the greatest sin is pride. I think that my time is more valuable to me than it is to God, so I give Him 10 minutes out of a 24 hour period. That's silly. He should have the whole thing. When I wake up I should be praising Him for the day. When I go to work I should be asking for strength to deal with crabby people. When any possible number of situations happen, I should give Him everything. After all, "you are not your own; you were bought at a price" (1 Cor 6:19-20). But my life looks like I returned the gift to the store...

I pray that my life can't be found anymore because it's hidden in Christ (Col 3:3), and that I spend time with God like someone I love.

A New Way To Approach It

I've been praying about how to "use" this blog, and I think the best way would be to simply express what's going on in my heart. I feel like I don't share my struggles enough so that others may hold me accountable, so maybe this will be the way to do it? I'm not sure, but for right now I'm not going to focus so much on writing Observations. I think I'll focus on writing one great article once a month instead of several OK ones throughout a week.

Anyway, that's where I'm at right now, and I've decided I want a vuvuzela just because.