A Man Observed

Gather round! It’s story time!

A few months ago I waited on this man at work. It was the day I first saw Garrett. Anyway, this guy was picking up his prescriptions for his mother or something like that, and the price came to like 90 bucks. So I asked the man if this was the price the prescription was supposed to be, and he said he didn’t know. I decided to look the prescription up in the computer to see why it cost so much, but I needed the bag to read the numbers to know what prescription I was looking at. The man then starting telling me to (and I’m really cleaning this up) “don’t touch the bag or I’ll hurt you”. He had his fist up like he was going to punch me at any moment and kept yelling to let go of the bag. Great way to start off the day you get to see your son for the first time…

Finally I get the bag from him after like 5 minutes of him screaming at me and explain that all I want to do is look at the number so I can see what’s going on with the prescription in the computer. So I get the bag, but I tell the man that if he threatens me again I’ll have to call either management or the police. I wasn’t trying to start something with this man, but I also couldn’t let him think he could talk to me or anyone else like that. So yeah, that didn’t help either. He starts screaming at me even louder and cusses me out more. I finally go to the back of the pharmacy and say that I’m not going to help him anymore and that someone else can take care of him. He running around throwing f-bombs, pushing his cart into the counter, yelling at his mother on the phone (really, he called his mother and started screaming at her even though it was her prescription he was picking up), throwing his phone, and just being…. a jerk.

So since that happened I’ve avoided him like crazy. He’s been in like every week but I’ve always seemed to be somewhere else. If’s he picking up a prescription, I’m in the back; if he’s asking a question at the drop-off window, I’m at the pick-up window. But the other day I finally had to talk to him.

He was pleasant, but I wasn’t. He was calm, but I was frantic. He just wanted to drop off some prescriptions, so I took them, told him when to come back, and said “Have a good day”. I basically tried to get him out of my way. Even after I wasn’t talking to him, he was waiting for his prescriptions over where I could see him. He was talking to everyone and being really nice, but the entire time I watched him I thought “You’re a jerk. Quit pretending like you’re not a jerk, you jerk.” He got his prescriptions and left, and on his way out told me to have a nice day and thanked me for my help. I just kind of smirked at him and nodded, but I didn’t make eye contact and really didn’t want to even acknowledge his presence. And immediately as soon as I couldn’t see him, the first thing that came over me was this: How dare I not forgive someone when I’ve been forgiven”.

Forgiveness is a key part of the Gospel. To be forgiven is to have a clean slate, a fresh start, a new life. What makes forgiveness from God so wonderful is that it’s out of love that He forgives us. It’s not because we deserve it. Far from that. Our forgiveness is only depended on that we ask God to forgive us. That’s it. Nothing you do can gain you merit or righteousness, but a humble request before a magnificent God can. It gains you life in Christ.

There is one flip side to this. We can’t be forgiven if we can’t forgive. Just look at Ephesians 4:29-32 or Colossians 3:12-14. I think the best passage though is in Matthew 5. Jesus is teaching the disciples and the people following him what it looks like to be a godly person. He’s just told the people that if they even hate someone, it’s like they already killed them. Then Jesus says something that’s seems a little peculiar. He tells us:

“Therefore, if you are offering you gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift” (Mat 5:23-24)

If we have something against another person, we can’t worship until we forgive. We can’t go to God in praise and adoration until the person that has wronged us knows that just as we’re forgiven in Christ, they’re forgiven too. We can’t be forgiven if we can’t forgive.

I’ve tried to forgive the man in my heart. It’s easy when I don’t have to see him, but inevitably I will have to, and I’ll try to remember that God can forgive him too and that I need to forgive him as well. I know it will take God’s strength and not mine to truly forgive him, but if I trust in God alone, I know that He can change my heart. I’ve been praying for the man as well, that he can know that God forgives him and loves him.